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Daily Audio Bible Forum Museum
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Sarajane8
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Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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Hey guys,
I'm in a bit of a pickle right now and need you guys to help me straighten out my mind. :huh:
I've been in court with my ex he was not the right choice and that is an understatement. Anywayz at court on Monday and he lied and lied and lied. They asked me if I had a faith and I said yes I am a Christian however it says in the Bible not to swear on it so I will perfer to affirm. My ex said he was a Christain and put his hand on the word of G-D and lied so bad I was almost in tears.:(
He got his friends wife to write a statement about me that was totally untrue I have met this woman a handful of times however she said she has known me for 4 years and that I am crazy and all these other terrible, terrible lies I was in shock.
I asked him why he is lieing like this and he said 'I am fighting for my daughter'
I prayed and asked G-D WHY? why did I feel so alone why didnt you help me? I said it looked like he had won it looks like he is winning and he has defeated me with lies.
G-D said 'Yes I know, and it looked like he had won when they nailed me to the cross too'
Then HE said I must forgive him. I am so tearful right now because HOW can I?? I feel like tearing out my stomach but I know I must and if HE says so I will but I just don't know how to.
My aunt said she was in church on sunday night (night before the case) and that the message was stand in the gap for your family, she said she went back to church and began to pray and then she broke down and all she could do was call out me and daughter. She said she was overwhelmed and cried so bad that someone had to come over and pray with her. She had no idea that I was going to court when she told me this I thought that G-D was already on the case and it is clear that the way it is going is the way HE wants it.
Inside I'm saying Lord I know I'm asking you to change me but this really hurts. I so want to change, Just like that song Reach, I want to think purer, I want to be kinder, I want to push harder, I AM at the end of myself.. BUT right now it hurts so bad. I want to take my kids and run away.
How do you forgive? what do I do to forgive? I know my ex is smug with himself right now and telling his friends and family that his lies are true.
How do I deal with this? I don't want to talk to him I don't want to listen to his voice or smile with him. Do I have to be his friend when I forgive him? Please I don't want to (on the floor kicking and screamin):angry: NO! NO! NO! I cant do this Help me Lord please.
Please pray for me, LORD Pleeeease help me to forgive.
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olechka4480
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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No, sweetie... you don't have to be his friend. You don't have to forget, but... you must forgive.
There is no formula for forgiveness... you just do... you just say those words: 'I forgive you'. I believe with those words you would release your ex to God's care and let God deal with him.
I came across this scripture today in my bible study class and now i know why - so i could tell you - kill him with kindness! :)
Romans 12:17-21
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,'[a]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
'If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
You can do it :)
Love ya, girl...
Praying for you.
~Olga
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Sarajane8
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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Oh Olga,
I am in tears right now because I had convinced myself to write to the court with a few home truths about him and this woman who wrote the statement.....I was in my kitchen less than 10 mins ago planning the whole thing. I admit I heard the words 'don't send the letter' but I think I am so bent up inside I dismissed it I ahve now logged into DAB again and you have sent me this scripture.
I cry not because I am sad that I can't send my rant to the court but because HE loves me and wants me to do right so HE is making sure I act right.
Thank you Olga thank you for your words and I will do as you say when I go back to court on the 12th I will say those words and I will try my very best to be kind to him.
I feel like the Lord is telling me to bring some recent pictures of our daughter and give them to him so I will.
I'm going to print that scripture and pray it every day over this situation.
Thanks again sis I am so happy for DAB
Much Love
Sj:kiss: :kiss:
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Grogan
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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:( Sarajane,
Jesus says forgive him because God forgave you. I know you know this verse so I won’t go in deeper. I’ll pray for you Sara, for strength and that God will let you feel His presence to let you know He is in your corner. You have been an inspiration to us all on the DAB. By not giving in to acts of retaliation, you will expose these stories about you as lies. Pray for guidance. Surrender yourself to God’s council. Show them what a true child of God looks like.
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helga
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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Hi Sarajane
My heart feels your brokenness. As said before: You have to forgive. If you say: I forgive you then you release your husband into God's hand so that God can deal with the situation.
Remember God knows your husbands thoughts and yours too. Even if you struggle with your feelings, ask God to help you to gain peace again. God is our vindicator. So many times in my life I had to struggle with being treated totally unfair and time an time again I realized that I had to forgive. I remember the fight in me and how much more effort it takes to do what the word of God says. The hardest thing is if someone lies right into your face .........
You said that you ask God to change you and He is busy changing you, if you are willing to do what his word is saying.
I keep you in my prayers and remember we all love you.............
Helga
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servantk
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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SaraJane, I will be praying for you that you can come into your heart and forgive him, but also that God will take your court situation and turn it around for you.
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Denise123
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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SJ, my heart is hurting for you. Forgiveness can be easier when time passes after being so deeply wounded. It's so difficult to forgive right as you're being hurt!
I pray that he stops this! Do you or can you have someone stand up you?
Your caring and loving heart shines through in your posts, and I have a strong feeling that you will overcome this with God's help.
Love, Denise
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nvcatlover
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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Hi SaraJane...well, I have to start over as my last post to you was long and I got interrupted so I had to login again and it was gone...:huh:
I'll try again...I quit my old job over a year and a half ago because of the slander and lies from a woman that I worked with. I found out that she had been spreading horrible lies about me and slandering me to my coworkers. This had been going on for over 8 months before I found out. After I quit my job, the Lord impressed upon me to forgive her, so I thought 'ok Lord, I can say the words but my heart is still really angry' :angry: . That same day I heard a podcast from Charles Stanley on forgiveness and it changed my heart dramatically. Here is what I did:
I sat opposite an emply chair and visualized her in it. I then began to tell her )outloud) every angry feeling I had and how much she hurt me. Some of the things that came out of my mouth were surprising as I was not aware of how deeply she had affected me with her lies. I was very emotional and when I was completly spent and had no more to say, I told her that I 'choose' to forgive her because Jesus forgave all of my sins and that He forgives hers too. A huge weight was lifted from me! I still have moments of anger, but then the memory of her in that chair comes back and I immediatly rebuke the enemy and claim again that she is forgiven.
I hope this helps you and I will be praying sister, Hugs...April <><
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davidwayne
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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Praying for you SaraJane. I know you don't need any scripture or advice from me right now. Olga has already given you the best. I just wanted you to know that I am adding my prayers for you and that you are not alone. Your heart is good, just let it shine over all with the strength to forgive that The Holy Spirit will give. All you have to do is ask for that strength, because as we all know it does not come naturally or easy for us when we are being lied about.
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Sarajane8
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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Thank you very much guys,
Yesterday I was bent out of shape however when I read the scriture Olga gave I felt the Lord next to me and I had an image in my mind of a lioness protecting her cub and it was like HE was saying to me.
'I will protect you fierce like a lioness, the instinct to protect comes from me so how much more will I protect you? but it will be my way'
I have just noticed my post about when warfare comes and this is exactly what this is right? so guess what........
....Music please...:) (tap dancing and singing to the tune of Fred Astaire Top hat)
I`m puttin` on my helmet,
Girdin` up my waist now,
Brushin` off my tails.
I`m dudin` up my Breastplate,
Puttin` in the shield studs,
Polishin` my nails,
I`m steppin` out, my dear,
To breathe an atmosphere
That simply reeks with JESUS;
And I trust that the enemy is nervous,
When I step on the gas,
For I`ll be there,
Never Puttin` down helmet,
Mussin` up my waist band,
Dancin` in my tails.
Keep on smiling! keep on dancing!! We ARE THE Champions:kiss:
NO I am NOT going to be sad because I am MORE than a conqueror!! AND I am on the winning side.:woohoo:
SO I DO forgive him and the girl for lieing and I'm going to continue to smile and be happy.:)
Time is short there is much of my Daddy's work to do right?
Thank you so much guys, I really appreciate and Love you all so much, I reckon I would still be woeing and rolling around like a wounded bear right now.
So thank you:kiss:
Much Love
Sj:kiss:
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helga
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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In spite of your situation you manage to be a woman of God. Your posts are inspiring..........and I will keep you in my prayers
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Toni46
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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Hi SJ
You probably have this all figured out by now, but I just saw this post. Your heart is so good, and you Love our Lord so much. Forgiveness is not about how you feel about what your ex is doing it's about your heart for God, and your heart is right.
Stand before our Father, tell Him that you do not want any harm your ex does to you held against him if you have any say in the matter, tell Him that your forgiveness is an act of your will and obedience, not a result of your feelings. So if by chance someday you don't feel like you have forgiven him, remind yourself that feelings are not fact, and the fact is you have placed him in Our Fathers hand.
Love you and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Toni
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olechka4480
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Re:Forgiveness........So Hard but... so needed
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Well said, Toni!
~Olga
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